Friday, May 30, 2014

So Did I

In yoga, our final exercise involves lying on the ground and just being present with our bodies. In the past, I've visualized a greenhouse, sometimes in moonlight. On some nights the plants are withered and dry, on some nights some I picture some weakly flower struggling through, and on some nights I cherish one blossoming.

Last week, there were figures in my greenhouse. I noticed Shame, gray and frenzied. I didn't judge her, didn't assail her, didn't fight her. I noticed her. And when I looked, to my surprise I noticed Joy to the side, softly beaming buoyant yellow light as if she had just been outside of my field of vision the whole time.

This week, Shame was more distinct. She looked like me, cast in gray. Turned in upon herself, tortured brow, back caved in, softly sobbing, hopeless. Then I noticed Love. Graceful, rose colored. Love sat next to Shame, lightly caressing her back. Love did not recoil, Love did not flinch. Love stayed, her face filled with gentle sympathy. Shame's tears did not stop. But she folded onto Love, her head resting on Love's lap as Love cradled her, softly stroking her hair.

And as Shame cried, so did I.
And as Love loved, so did I.

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